On Fear - Or, The Courage to Pivot
Fear is a fundamental presence in life. Without it, there is no aliveness. Without fear, we don’t get to anything worth doing, anything that matters. We never expand unless we step beyond our comfort zones, taking those first tentative steps toward uncertainty, and possibility.
Not that there isn’t dignity in staying. In honing what you've cultivated, with consistency, with mastery. It’s just that… there’s this vast, beautiful, complex world out there. There’s so much to experience and discover.
One year ago, I took what felt like a wild leap. I left my apartment in New York and walked away from a career in healthcare business advisory, where I was a Director of Customer Success in a health tech start up. That path had served me well… until it no longer did. I wanted something new — and something old. A return to a different vision I'd once held for myself, one that promised greater fulfillment, deeper alignment, and a more integrated way of living and working.
When I think about pivotal moments, I picture a threshold. The mental image of being at the edge of a precipice emerges, triggering that primal fear response — the one that simultaneously whispers "go, leap!" but also "freeze, stay safe."
How do you distinguish between these competing signals? How do you sort through the noise to understand what's calling for attention versus what's simply surface-level restlessness — something that the proverbial snack or walk around the block would fix?
Sometimes, it really is a well-timed vacation or a meaningful change in routine. But other times, hesitation stems from a deeper pattern — overthinking, fear of incapability, or the ever-present pressure of curated online lives that can blunt our internal voice, muddling our true compass.
The fear whispers: "This feels too risky. You might land on your face. Spectacularly." But then again, isn't it equally risky to abandon your wildest dreams?
My change was massive. Not everyone’s has to be. Changing even one thought, one response, is meaningful. Taking one step is brave. Looking back, five concepts guided my transformation — whether I was consciously aware of them at the time or not.
1. It ends with you. You are the person who will ultimately have to explain (to yourself) why you never took that chance — why you never pursued that job, that person, made that leap. This reality can feel stark, but, it's also clarifying. The accountability begins and ends with you.
2. And it begins with you. Knowing yourself lies at the foundation of sustainable change. I had to examine and rebuild what felt unsteady in my relationship with myself (and, yes, this remains a work-in-progress). Learning to hear and honor your "no" strengthens your capacity to chase a "yes."
3. No one’s watching that closely. Everyone you imagine would be surprised or appalled to see you leave that job, take up that hobby or leave (or be with) that person is primarily thinking about their own lives. It's just human nature. Some find this depressing. But it can also be freeing. And it returns the responsibility for your life squarely to where it belongs: with you.
4. Change comes with loss on either side. This truth deserves acknowledgment so you can work with it effectively. If you pursue what you want, you will become different in the process. Maybe you’ll grow into the daring and resolute version of you that always seemed desirable. But you’ll almost certainly become someone less familiar, both to yourself and to those around you. This can be exciting. It can also feel like a small episode of grief.
5. "If not now, when?" isn't a hypothetical. For a long time, I pushed out big change into some vague future, where it felt safer to contemplate. Like, after 40, when I would be “truly” accomplished. Or, maybe, when fear disappeared. It became a running joke with myself: maybe when I’m 50? 70? The realization hit: I might be waiting forever.
Sometimes, we flounder. We drag our feet. We merely survive. And sometimes there are valid reasons for that. But clarity comes from naming those reasons honestly.
Today, I'm still building, still figuring things out as I go. My own fear hasn't left me - it's just now along for the ride, as Elizabeth Gilbert beautifully describes in one of my favorite books on bolder living. My coaching practice — Project Pivot — is a part of that path. With it, my goal is to help people and teams harness pivotal moments to drive value-aligned, sustainable change. This work is as personal as it gets for me. Born from my own transformation and drawing on everything that’s shaped me: being a child immigrant, studying psychology, and leading in high-pressure environments where I saw firsthand what helps people move forward — and what keeps them stuck.
I’ll end with this: following your own path doesn’t make things immediately easy. But it does make them yours. And I personally wouldn’t give that up for anything.